Thanksgiving wasn't all that great. That night we had to go to the E.R. with my Gram. Her meds were screwed up and she was saying weird things. They had to come and get her by ambulance. She ended up coming home that morning. I brought her home. I guess that she had fluid around her lungs..? Anyways they mentioned having a chest tube put in. But that means that she would have to be in the hospital, and most likely in pain. She doesn't want too. Which means, it is all coming too fast for me. I am in denial, I guess. I know that she is going to die but I didn't think it would be this soon. A little part of me still believes that she won't.
Yesterday she gave me her class ring. That meant so much to me. I am wearing it around my neck, because it is too small. I try and go see her every night. I lay on the bed with her, and we just talk. Memories that I will cherish forever.
See we moved up here out in the boonies, away from the city. We had to, so we could buy a house. I live next door to one Gram, and my Gram who has cancer lives a mile from my house. I had a hard time adjusting to living here. I keep saying that I couldn't wait until we could move back. But now, I am so thankful that we did move up here. I am able to go see my gram every day. It wouldn't be possible if I lived in the city. Thank you Lord.
Today my "gramp" has been gone 5 years. It seems like so much longer. He died suddenly of a heart attack. We were so shocked. I remember that day vividly. I was driving home from college listening to Christmas music, and then I noticed my sister pull in right after I got home. I thought she wanted to go shopping. But then I saw her face. I thought it was my dad at first. Then she told me that Gramp had died. I hadn't seen him in 3 weeks. I vowed never to let that happen with any of my grandparents again. And I haven't.
Sorry this has been such a downer blog, but it's my life at the moment. Not that anyone reads it anyways!