Saturday, February 10, 2007

I'm sick of grieving. Does that sound bad? I am though. I think I am doing better and then I have bad days. It sucks. I miss my gram so much. I still can't believe that she is gone. It doesn't help driving past her house either. Still for sale, no one has bought it. I am sort of glad because I am not ready to see it filled with strange people. My other gram that lives next door helps me every day which I have said before. Well all I can think about lately is what if something happens to her? My kids won't understand, I will be living up here without her. I try and not think about it, and enjoy my time left with her. I guess I am just not ready to deal with another death right now. I wish I would dream about my gram or something. I really do miss her. You know what I should have done? This sounds really weird and odd, I'm sure but I should have taped my gram with a mini tape recorder. Her voice. Then I could listen to her whenever I wanted. Her birthday is the 21st of this month. She would have been 77.

I slept for crap last night. I always do when Bart is gone. It sucks. I guess I should be in bed since Bart has to work on a Saturday!! Ugh. Lately Caleb has been crying for him :( I have also had this nagging cough and runny nose for like a month. It's really starting to irritate me.

Tonight I watched Trading Spouses. I could not believe this one mother on there. She was so ignorant. She hated gays, Hispanics, etc etc. It was so annoying, I hate people like that. I hope she learned something from her experience and maybe can be more open minded.

2 comments:

Christy said...

(((HUGS))) :( I am so sorry I havent been able to be around for you the last few nights. Hang in there :(

elisa said...

I'm so tired. I didn't sleep well last night and the feeling just sucks.

I'm sorry you miss your gram so much. I can't believe she would only be 77, that isn't very old. My dh's grandmother died 6 years ago and I STILL miss her. She was the most wonderful woman.

I would love to hear more about what it's like up there where you live. I've always wanted to travel to NH, VT, & ME. My good friend just got back from a weekend trip to NH where she then traveled up the coast of ME. I was so jealous. What's the best time of year to visit there?