A very bad day...

This week I have had my worst day as a mother. My friend Nicole came up with her 13 month old dog. We were all outside, Me, Caleb, Meghan, Nicole and Molly (the dog.) Caleb was walking around and I was sitting on the little picnic table with Meggy. Nicole had Molly on a retractable leash. Molly was chasing a ball. Caleb got burned by the leash under his neck and up by his ear. As my brother and husband would call it, he got “clotheslined.” At first I thought he had just gotten knocked down, but I could tell from his cry that it was more than that. I only noticed a little around the ear at first. Later on under his whole neck was a burn. I felt sick to my stomach. It was the worst feeling ever. I felt and still feel like a horrible mother. Wasn’t I supposed to know that this would happen?? I should have been walking around with Caleb instead of sitting my fat lazy ass on the picnic table with Meggy. At one point I was thinking, I can’t take this, I can’t do this…I can’t be a mom. It looks so sore, and must have hurt so bad. My heart hurts for him. Of course you wouldn’t even know it now, he acts normal, but then you see his neck. The night it happened, I just cried and cried.