A day in the life of me...

Four years ago on October 26, 2001 my "papa" passed away. He was 86 years old. That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. He had cancer. I remember we went up for church on Sunday, and then went to visit him. He was still conscious, lying in the bed in the living room. We started the week, and when I look back at it now, I was in complete denial that he was in fact dying. My sister called me and said maybe you should go up after work, he is getting worse. Bart and I drove up after I got out of work. We went in to the living room, and Papa was in and out of it. He did recognize us and smiled and grabbed my hand like he always had. Bart, me and my gram ate dinner. When we were getting ready to leave, we went in to say goodbye to my papa. He didn't wake up. He was on a lot of medication so we thought he was just really tired. Bart and I left.
Tuesday morning I was at work, sitting in the kindergarten classroom on the floor behind my student. I see the secretary for special services out in the hall, she wants me. I go out she puts her hand on my back and tells me I have a phone call. It is my sister. My papa has gone into a coma. Turns out he had Monday night when we tried to say goodbye. I leave work with a million things running through my head. I am numb. That was the longest week of my life. How can it seem to go so fast and so slow at the same time? I stayed at my grams that whole week, watching people bring in food and support. Friday came, and that night we were all in the living room, and his breathing slowed, slowed, and then there was no breathing. At that moment it was like the world stopped. I watched my dad and gram cry. I wish I had been able to tell my papa all the things I wanted to say, the things I wanted him to know.
The people from the funeral home, came that night and took him away. I felt like a part of me died, or a piece of my life.
My papa and gram were a huge part in my upbringing. My parents divorced when I was 2 years old. I visited my dad's every weekend. He would pick me up Friday nights, we would go out to dinner and then drive to his house. I stayed there Friday nights and stayed at papa and grammie's on Saturday nights. We would watch the Golden Girls and eat Tony's pizza. They were so positive in my life. They taught me about God, and brought me to church. I am so grateful for that. I truly believe that if I didn't have my grandparents I would have turned to something bad like drugs or alcohol.
Well thanks for reading if you made it this far. I was just missing my papa.