My house is a wreck, nothing new there. Caleb and Meghan have been so energized lately!! They go from fighting to kissing and hugging. My gram comes home tomorrow! YAY!! We can not wait. I have been lonely and the kids ask everyday "Mi-mi go??, mi-mi go??"
Our weekend was nothing exciting really. Bart mowed the lawn, and we went to one of my friends son's birthday. The kids had a blast! On Sunday the kids took a 4 hour nap! But it is because they went to bed late the night before! I went grocery shopping and then my dad came down for dinner. The kids loved having Papa here.
We are going to meet my gram at the airport tomorrow. She doesn't know it though! Then I have to find an anniversary present for Bart. This summer is just flying by!

Please Join Me!

Please join me and sign up for blogging about a person that was a victim in the 9-11 attacks. You sign up here and you are assigned a victim and then on September 11, 2006 you write a tribute to your assigned person! I think it's a great idea! Please think about joining and honoring all the people who lost their lives.

Grateful

Now I seem to come off as ungrateful lately. That isn't the case at all. I have lots to be grateful for. I am grateful for my children, family, the list goes on and on. As you know I am grateful for my grandmothers. I have talked a lot about my gram that recently passed, Shirley but have not mentioned my other gram, Marion. She lives right next door to me. We actually bought this house from her. I don't know how I would have survived these first few years with Caleb and Meghan without her. I mean that. Since the day they were born, my grandmother has come down every weekday. She does my laundry, helps with the kids, etc. Most of all she has been my friend, and companion.
She is 84 years old and I wish I had the energy that she does. Now that the kids are getting older they love going to see "Mi-mi." She has even taken them to her house by herself a couple of times. She bought them baby ducks and has raised them so that Caleb and Meghan could see them. She has done it for all of her grandkids. I am so grateful to have her near. She is amazing. I am certainly blessed when it comes to my grandparents. I have faith because of my grandparents. They were the ones who brought me to Church and have brought me up in that faith. I am so thankful for that.
"Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

My mood lately has been not so great. Just ask anyone. There are a lot of contributing factors, mostly PMS. But I have decided that I am sick of doing stuff for people and getting nothing in return. I feel like I try too hard with people. So I am officially DONE!

Lately I just feel really alone. I can't help it. I know some of it is missing my grandmother. I can honestly say she was my best friend. Now I have hardly anyone to go to. At least that is the way I feel. My heart feels empty, and everyday something reminds me of her. I thought it was getting easier but it's not. I know and hope that in time it will get easier. Right now it's just still even hard to look at her picture.
My mom did come by today, and helped me. It made a world of difference for my mood. I think it helps to have someone to talk to, and have a little adult interaction. My mom thinks I should get a part-time job. I don't agree. I would then have to find daycare. Nope, my kids hate leaving me and I would be paying to put them in daycare, despite how much adult interaction I may crave/need.
I keep thinking Caleb and Meghan will get easier, but it doesn't seem that way. I hope its soon! They are in a way getting easier, or different I guess. But still, whew!!
Bart has Friday off, all I can say is TGIF!!!! I am so glad he is home, cause I can sleep in and have help.
Thanks for reading, if you made it this far!!

I haven't felt like blogging lately. Mostly because all I feel like writing about is my gram. Tonight though I saw this website on a board that I read. So I decided to blog about it! Before I had Caleb and Meghan I was not skinny by any means but I was comfortable with my weight. I gained about 50-55lbs with Caleb and Meghan. For some reason I thought my body would recover and I would be back where I was before, like my sister. Nope. I got within 10lbs of where I was before I had the twins, but I was nursing and depressed. I went on Zoloft, stopped nursing and gained back like 25lbs.
I am still having a hard time losing weight. I am on weight watchers, have been since October. I have lost 20lbs and am trying just to stay there during these rough summer times!! Even when and if I lose the weight it won't be the same. My stomach is disfigured and I will always have a "belly." I don't mind that much I just really want to lose AT LEAST another 30lbs. Caleb and Meghan were well worth it!
Here is a website that makes you feel better about it. I will warn there are some nude pics of women showing their belly's. http://shapeofamother.blogspot.com/

Heidi--I posted now lets see some pics!!!!!!!!!

Happy 4th of July! Today we went to the parade like I always have since I can remember. This time was different though. It was the first fourth without my grandmother. She crossed my mind a couple of times today. It made me miss her and my heart aches. I know eventually and hope that it will get easier with time. I have a hard time dealing with change. It's weird not having her house to go to, and most importantly not having my gram to go to.

Bart is on vacation. I am happy about that. It means I get a little break. For some reason today was a hard day for me. I thought about gram a lot. Plus the kids were really "trying" today. It doesn't help that our weather is pretty much raining 24/7. Our house is small, and after a couple days of rain, it gets old.
Bart's grandfather is in the hospital. He has triple bypass surgery, and now I guess his organs are shutting down. Bart isn't all that close to his grandfather, but I told him he should go to see him, and be there for his mom. His family deals with stuff differently.
I don't have much to say, hope everyone has a great 4th of July.